The Sneak's Sympathy
by sweetsheart
Summary: The day started with the idiot in her shower. It ended with him having to stop her from falling over because she was so drunk. Short Tsunade/Jiraiya. T for language and sexual themes.


The woman rounded the corner, her eyes filled with trepidation as she grabbed wildly for something sturdy and blunt. She was only granted an umbrella, but she held it over her shoulder nonetheless.

The water in her bathroom was running, and she wasn't taking any chances. She rounded the door frame and took a defensive stance, umbrella help in front of her.

"Who are you?! What are you doing here?!" Tsunade called. She heard the person in the shower laugh. She dropped the umbrella and raised an eyebrow.

She'd know that laugh anywhere.

Her suspicions were only confirmed when the white haired man poked his head out from behind the shower curtain.

"Morning, sunshine." he smirked. Tsunade growled and walked forward, grabbing a tuft of soaked, white hair and pulling Jiraiya face to face with her.

"_What do you think you're doing here?"_ she hissed. Jiraiya laughed again and gave a grin.

"C'mon, Tsunade. You know the rules – you sleep together, you get bathroom privileges." he remarked, and she could have ripped the hair from his head.

"_No_, you _don't_. And you also _don't break into people's houses!_" she exclaimed, and Jiraiya found complete pleasure in her exasperation.

"You're hot when you're angry."

"_Get out of my shower!_"

"Can't, Tsunade. We've got that function tonight and nobody else I've fucked will let me into their house."

"For good reason!" she exclaimed.

"Give me one minute. _One._" Jiraiya looked at Tsunade, and she sighed.

"One minute and then you're gone." Tsunade warned, brandishing a finger in Jiraiya's face.

"One minute and I'm in your bed. Got it." Jiraiya grinned, and Tsunade threw her hands down in exasperation.

"Out. _Now!_" she screeched.

Jiraiya obliged.

Tsunade's hands flew up to her eyes as he stepped out of the shower in his full-frontal, unabashed glory, strands of long, wet hair hanging around his grinning face.

"C'mon, Tsunade, you've seen it all before." he remarked. She squeezed her eyes shut and waved him away.

"Please, get back in the _shower!_" she exclaimed. Jiraiya laughed and, once again, obliged.

* * *

The function that Jiraiya and Tsunade had to attend was extremely boring, and like many of the other young ninja in attendance, the two had turned to the alcohol early.

Jiraiya was a larger man, and he held his liquor better than anyone else in Konoha. Tsunade, on the other hand, was a lightweight.

"You're my _best friend,_ you know that?"

"Oh, yeah, you tell me this all the time when you're sober, Tsunade." Jiraiya glanced down at the blonde woman wrapped her arms around his waist, giggling inanely.

"Why are you so _grumpy,_ Mister Toad Sage Grumpy Pants?" Tsunade's own comment made her laugh, and Jiraiya just shook his head.

"I don't know, Tsunade. Why am I so grumpy?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well," Tsunade wobbled and brandished a finger in Jiraiya's face, her voice dropping to a whisper, "I think it's because _I don't let you have sex with me anymore._"

"Oh, really?" Jiraiya asked. Tsunade nodded insistently, still unsteady on her feet.

"Yeah, _and,_ I don't w-want you to be grumpy." she stammered. Jiraiya shook his head and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think I like what you're implying." he remarked. Tsunade laughed and grabbed his belt, causing him to grab her hand and pull it away.

"Oh, I think you _love_ what I'm im-in-i… that word." she slurred. Jiraiya sighed and laughed.

"You're too much, Tsunade." he commented.

"You're gonna turn me down for _sex _jus' because I had an _itty bitty little __tiny _bit to drink?" She stared up at him, and he nodded.

"Exactly." Jiraiya said. Tsunade's face contorted in thought.

"How 'bout you touch my boobs?" Tsunade posited to the white-haired ninja, and he shook his head.

"Nope." he replied.

"How 'bout I touch your butt?"

"No, Tsunade."

"How 'bout you touch _my _butt?"

"No."

"How 'bout I suck your-"

"_Okay, _that's quite enough, I think, Tsunade." Jiraiya couldn't hold back his smirk, and he grasped her shoulders.

"Jus' a little bit?" Tsunade asked, giggling.

"No, I'm fine. This as blackmail when you're sober will be reward enough." Jiraiya remarked. All of a sudden, Tsunade stopped where she was and held her arms out.

"Jiraiya… Jiraiya, the floor is moving… Jiraiya, help, _help!_"

Jiraiya sighed and walked back to the woman, standing in front of her.

"Put your arms around my neck." the smirk was seemingly permanently plastered onto his face.

"No!_" _she pouted, crossing her arms. Jiraiya sighed and dropped his arms – it was sad that he had to resort to this.

"The floor is lava."

Tsunade shrieked and wrapped her arms tightly around Jiraiya's neck. He laughed as he picked her up and carried her off.

**A/N: In case you didn't understand, this is when Tsunade and Jiraiya were much younger. Think mid-twenties. I will ship this forever.**


End file.
